Overuse I Love You

I'm going to keep this one short and sweet.  Unfortunately there are some people who don't get to leave hospitals and end up spending their last days there.  I knew this coming into my job, but it wasn't until I was confronted with the situation yesterday that it really hit me.  A patient with a terminal illness was alive for breakfast, but not for lunch.  The shocking situation was so blatantly  front of me as I looked at the undelivered tray in my hands and it made me really sad.  The overwhelming  feeling of emotion caused me to doubt my ability to work in a hospital.  I know there are many other people who work in hospitals and have faced similar situations too many times to count.  It even made me think, "Is that ok?  To see death and keep working as if nothing happened?"  

I think what made me feel even worse was that I didn't remember who that patient was.  There are so many patients to see that it becomes easy to do what needs to be done and move on to what is next.  I'm not saying that I act like a robot when I see patients because that's accurate at all.  I try to be as warm and helpful as possible.  I doubt it was the case, but what if I was the last face that patient saw before they passed away? This made me reflect on bedside manner and the balance between getting things done efficiently while still being personable and friendly to patients.  Also about treating all units the same.  It's sometimes easier to be more friendly during comfortable situations.  Labor and delivery and postpartum are always my favorite units.  I enjoy visiting with the new mothers and watching them with their new babies.  Other departments with critically ill patients or those that are hard to understand usually make me want to get through their orders quickly.  It became clear to me that I need to act comfortably with all patients.  I realized that sometimes the patients that might make me uncomfortable deserve and just might need more personal attention.  The question that runs through my mind now before I enter any room, and especially those in critical care, is this: What if I am the last face this person sees?  I hope this is never the case, but you never know.

I came home yesterday and gave my dad a big hug.  I was reminded me to tell loved ones  that I love them and to show it often.  In the words of Lee Brice and one of my favorite songs, "Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you.  Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense."